I'll run to you
by Cristinkn
Summary: This is a story based on the thought that Kaneki was born as a one eyed ghoul. This story is about him dealing with falling in and out of love, making new friends, and dealing with the CCG. Can he manage it all?
1. Chapter 1

"_You want to be my friend?" The little ginger boy asked, enthusiastically to the boy in front of him. _

"_S-Sure." He answered. Though he seemed to be nervous, he was incredibly grateful to find him. _

"_Really?! Great!" The boy smiled genuinely and offered his hand. "My name is Hide."_

"_Kaneki." The boy shyly took his hand and shook it. _

"_Nice to meet you, Kaneki!" The boy jumped from his seat and locked the other in a big affectionate hug. "We'll be best friends!"_

Best friends, huh.

Who would of thought we'd _actually_ stayed as best friends for years. I remember all the excitement, about having a best friend and all. I look back and think, it couldn't have possibly be _that_ easy. But it was.

"Ka~ne~ki~" I hear _that certain someone_ sing my name in the middle of the hall.

My first thought it's _shit._

"Where are you- Aha! There you are, you ungrateful piece of shit!" I hear grunts from people behind me as his steps get closer and louder.

My second thought it's _SHIT._

So, I run as fast as I can.

"Oi! Get back here, you fucking brat!" I hear Hide yell again.

"Ha, no way!" I answer back. I keep running, trying to get past the people. I enter the field, and I'm able to run freely. Even though I'm not much of a sports person, I'm really fast at running. Guess I got it from my dad.

But Hide isn't that lucky.

"Yo! Kane- ugh, Kaneki! You fucking piece of shit, get back here! I can't run no moooore." He complained as he rested his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.

I run back and rest a hand on his back. "You okay there?"

"Yeah...just…" He keeps breathing hard.

"...Hide?" I began to worry a bit.

"It hurts." He says, his head still down. "But you know what hurts more?"

"...What?" Did he hurt himself while running? Maybe this wasn't a good idea after all.

Then, I realized I made a big mistake.

He lifts his head so he's looking at me, with that stupid smirk of his. "My fucking heart!" He yells as he jumps and gets a hold of me, hugging me.

I stumble backwards and fall miserably to the ground, with him on top of me.

"Kaneki, you shit! How _could_ you?! You left me all alone! Did you know rabbits die of loneliness?! Huh? Did you?!" Hide straddles my hips and grabs my wrists, pressing them down at each side of my head. "Even after all I did for you? I'm your _first_ priority here, bitch!"

"Hide, sorry, sorry." I can't help but laugh as I apologize. He's so dramatic. "I was just busy."

He gasp dramatically. "You are _supposed_ to make time for me!"

"This was really important."

"What can be more important than this fabulous beast?" He says, referring to himself. Right.

"Many things."

He gasps again. "Oh, well that did it! Now you are going to see…"

"What are you-" But I don't complete my sentence. Hide lets go of my wrists, to then start tickling me like never before. "H-Hide, _no!_"

"Hide yes!" He answers back, still tickling me. "That's what you get!"

I can't help but laugh with all my might, struggling to get away from him. "Hide, _please_."

"Fuck no! There's no way I'm letting you go." He keeps laughing and tickling, and I feel like I might burst.

"Ahah- Okay! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! No more, _please_." I try to push him away, but since I'm laughing so hard, I lost my strength.

"Say you love me."

"Pfft, Hide, _I can't anymore_!"

"Say you looooove me~"

"Fine! Fine! I love you! Now get off!"

"You gotta say it with more _sentiment_."

"Pfft, Hide! I'm going to cry!"

"Say it!"

"Hide, my eternal love, my soul mate, my _everything_. I love you from the bottom of my heart!" I blur out, he's not tickling me anymore, so I can talk normally.

He grins and stands up. "Damn right." He says, as he offers me his hand to get up.

"Aren't you going to say it back?" I ask jokingly as I take his hand.

"And who said I love you back, huh?" He pushes me up, and I'm back on my feet.

"So you are breaking up with me?" I ask, trying to sound offended.

"Fuck no. You are my bitch. You ain't getting rid of me." He winks at me, and I roll my eyes at that.

"Whatever." I say as I pick up my backpack and head towards the exist.

"Oi! Wait for me." He rushes to take his backpack and runs towards me.

"You are way too slow."

"Shut the fuck up."

I laugh, and he laughs. You see, this is pretty normal for us. We are best friends, after all.

I trust him with my life.

But, you see, there's one thing I can't tell him.

"I'm home." I call to no one in particular, as I take off my shoes and drop my backpack on the floor.

"Took you long enough." Someone says.

Okay, I don't know if you get me here. _Someone_ says. _In_ my house.

I live _alone._

"Relax, shithead. Just came to take some of your books. I need them for my literature class."

I loosen a bit, and sigh as I enter the kitchen, from where the voice is coming from. "Just my books, Touka-chan?"

"'Course not. Came also to make sure you aren't starving yourself again." She says as she takes a bite of...a human hand. She's sitting on the counter, but I don't mind.

"Touka-chan."

"What?"

"Ew."

"Answer my question." She says as she waves the hand around like a toy.

I sigh again. "No, I'm not starving myself."

"Good." She says. She's now taking the thumb and the finger and using them as the arms of the 'toy'. "You are naturally strong. Don't waste that potential."

"Of course not." I roll my eyes. "The 'natural' eyed-ghoul, born from a human mom and a ghoul dad, must _eat_ in order to stay _strong_." I say, sarcastically.

"Quit whining." She stops playing to look at me. "Look, I know you value humans. A lot. Way too much, if you ask me. But, that doesn't change the fact that they are our food source. You have to eat, Kaneki." She says it in a tired voice, but I can tell she's concerned about me.

"I know, I know." Feeling suddenly tired, I walk towards my room. "Um, I'm going to sleep now…"

"Want me to check there aren't any monsters under your bed?" She jokes.

"Touka-chan."

"Fiiiiine. I'll go now." She gets off the counter and walks off. Hand in hand. Literally. No, like, literally, she had the hand with her still. "See ya, nerd."

I smile at her. "See you."

And so, I go to sleep. As I get closer to my room, I start thinking about the latest things I've being doing. Doing tennis, which Hide recommended- wait no, _peer pressured_ me into it. Also band, which Hide insisted in doing. Art….Hide too….Cooking class….Hide also...Technology too…

I sit on my bed, and lay down slowly.

Weird. I haven't noticed all of those activities I did were thanks to Hide. He did the same in high school. And middle school.

Actually, if it wasn't for him, I don't think I would have survived this whole time without him. And I don't mean that as in school only. He checks up on me, is there when I need him, and...he hasn't complained.

If I were to tell you who the most important person in my life, be it human or ghoul, it would have to be him.

I try to give to him as much as possible too. But I don't think I'll ever be able to show him how grateful I am that I met him.

I feel something vibrate and I check my phone. Talking about the devil.

_From: Hide_

_sup nerd B)_

I can't help but smile at that. Suddenly, I don't feel tired anymore, so I roll on my back and start texting him back.

_To: Hide_

_Nothing much. Just found Touka in my kitchen when I got home. The usual._

Exactly one minute in, he answers.

_From: Hide_

_wtf _

_how come when i do it suddenly it's CREEPY and STALKING_

I laugh at the screen, feeling more….awake? Yeah, that's the word. Or happy. Whichever.

_To: Hide_

_You are a creep by nature. That's why._

I wait one minute and he answers back.

_From: Hide_

_can u like not_

_u have broken my heart yet again_

_i thought u loved me_

_GUESS IT WAS ALL LIES_

Geez. So dramatic. But really, I like him like this. Otherwise it wouldn't be Hide. Does that make sense?

I spent the rest of the night texting him, as like any other night.

Maybe one day I'll be able to tell him, after all.


	2. Chapter 2

One thing I noticed lately is how Hide is more...touchy. I don't know, he just seems to want to be more close to me. And it's not like he just places a hand on my shoulder or something. It's things like hugs and him ruffling my hair. Things like grabbing my hand and running, telling me 'it's just fun to take you by surprise'. He used to do it before, but now it's more than usual. And he looks at me like….I mean, I might be wrong, but I think he is-

"Kaneki! Oi!" Hide waves his hand on front of my face.

"Ah." I blink a few times and look at him, smiling apologetically. "Sorry, what did you say?"

He pouts. "I was saying if you want to go to Big Girl with me. But you seem out of it. Are you alright?" He leans and furrows his eyebrows together in concern.

He's too close. I can feel his breath against my skin.

I might be wrong.

"Yeah, I was just thinking."

"You look pale, though. What were you thinking about?" He wraps an arm around my neck, hugging me best-friend style.

I might be wrong.

"Stuff."

"Kaneki, hey…" He walks in front of me, and places his hands on my shoulders. "You can tell me anything, you know. If something is wrong…"

I might be wrong.

"It's nothing, Hide." I try to brush it off.

"Uh-huh. You aren't getting out of this one, you know." He says as he narrows his eyes. "Tell me or I'll kiss you."

"Wha-" But before I can protest, he already leaned forward, and kissed me on the lips. I'm paralyzed in place.

He breaks apart, but he is still just inches away from my mouth. I'm not looking at his lips but I know he is smirking.

And then I find my voice.

"What...why…?" My voice is soft, but I know he can hear me.

"Just tell me what's bothering you before I kiss you again."

How can he _do_ that? He is- I'm not- It's not supposed to be this way.

I might not be wrong after all.

"Go away, Hide." I jerk away from him, and take my backpack from the floor. It's Activities time, so there aren't that many people here. I'm glad.

"Kaneki?" He rushes after me. "Hey, are you mad?"

"What do you think?" I don't look at him.

"Kaneki." He tries to call for me to get me to look at him, but instead I walk faster.

"Kaneki, hey." He grabs my hand and I jerk it away from him.

I make the mistake of looking at him. He looks hurt.

"Just...leave me alone, okay?" I look back to the ground, and turn around, without waiting for him to answer me.

And so, I leave him behind.

* * *

><p>I'm laying on my bed, not really thinking anything. Or at least, <em>trying <em>to.

You see, the reason I'm mad...it's because he….he _kissed_ me. And you know the reason people kiss each other? On the lips?

He might be in love with me.

Or, at least, have a 'crush' on me. I don't know. I just...I can't afford to have a human fall in love with me. It's just wrong. And now Hide…I'll hurt him, one way or another, I know I will.

Wait.

No, no, _no_. I'm not even _considering_ the possibility that I'm also- no. No.

I see Hide as my best friend, and that's all. Nothing more.

Right?

I mean...ugh, I don't know anymore. That's just great. I might even like him back, perfect.

I don't want to, though. That's the thing. I don't want to.

It's just...it's scary, you know? Sure, it might be great and all, but I mean, will we stay together? Surely, we eventually will break up. That's just how it works.

I don't think I can be his friend again if that happens.

And, you see, I don't want to lose him. I just care way too much about him. I can't.

The doorbell rings, interrupting my thoughts. I stand up and check myself in the mirror quickly, and walk towards the door. "Coming."

As I walk I start thinking that maybe...I over reacted. It's okay to be scared, sure, but Hide didn't deserved it. If he really is in love with me...then, maybe, since it's _him_, I can-

"Hey, Kaneki." Hide looks at me with worried eyes as soon as I opened the door. He is nervous.

"Hi." It's all I can say.

"Can we talk?" He asks. His hands are in his pockets, but he's moving them around.

"Yeah, sure. Come in." I move to the side for him to enter, and I close the door painfully slow. I don't want to have this talk, but I guess I have no choice.

I got to the living room and sit next to him. He is not looking at me.

"I'll just get to the point." He said, still playing with his hands. "I'm sorry about what I did. It won't happen again." He promises me. But, somehow, I can't help but panic for a second. "I hope we can still be friends?"

What?

Why wouldn't we be?

"...Or not?" He asks when I gave no answer. Now I really panic.

"No! I mean, no. We can still be friends, Hide, you know. It was just a kiss." I smile at him to reassure him.

"Oh." He seems surprised. "Well, I thought that….since you know that I'm-" But he stopped mid-sentence, narrowing his eyes. "Wait. You _do_ know, right?"

"Know what?"

"That I'm in love with you."

Oh.

"I'm- I mean- I suspected a bit…" I say, blushing a bit for some reason, looking down.

He chuckles lightly. "It was pretty obvious, you know."

"I-I know."

"So," He turns his torso so he's facing me. "Friends?" He offers his hand to me.

"Huh?" I can't help but be a little confused.

"Don't 'huh' me, you brat." He uses the same hand to flick his finger on my forehead.

"Ouch." I look up, covering my forehead with my hand.

"Answer me, Kanekiiiii." He pouts again.

"Wait a minute, are you okay with it?" I ask, unsure.

"Okay with what?"

"You know...with me not-"

"Oh I know you don't feel the same way." He waved his hand, as if he was brushing off the matter. "Don't worry."

"I haven't said that…"

"Wait...you do?" His smile fades away, now looking serious.

Instinctively, I look down. "I...I think I do? I'm not sure...I don't think about this type of stuff...maybe it was always there, and I just didn't notice?" I say, this time looking up.

Only to find Hide with that fond smile of his, and looking at me _like that_. Gotta look down again.

"I can work with that." He says, still smiling. "What about you?"

"Y-Yeah." Now that I lifted my gaze, I can't look away from his eyes.

"So…" I feel his hand grab mine. It's really warm. "Kaneki, can I kiss you?"

"Um-"

"Wait no, never mind. I know that you don't like it when-" But I don't let him complete his sentence. I grab him by the collar of his shirt, and pull him towards me, locking his lips with mine.

"You are an idiot." I say, as I lean my forehead against his.

"Yeah, I am." He says and laughs. And I laugh with him. Then, we kiss one more time. Again and again.  
>Maybe I can get used to this.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

"There are more doves in the 20th ward?" I asked, seeing all the worried faces around me. We are in the coffee shop, because our boss wanted to tell us something.

"That's right." The manager said, nodding. "Apparently, they received information about a gang planning to wipe out this ward."

"Who would be so stupid as to do that?" Nishiki asked, pissed off.

"Maybe they just wanted to get a reaction." Touka suggests.

"Still stupid."

"In any case," The manager talked on. "We must be extra careful. So please, don't let your guard down."

"Lots of people from the CCG are here, huh? Has it become this dangerous?" Hide says, as he takes a bite of his hamburger.

"Yeah," I take a sip of my coffee. "Hopefully it'll go down quick."

"Hm…I should be careful going out."

"Huh?" It takes me by surprise.

"What do you mean, 'huh'? I appreciate my life very much, and even though it _flatters _me that ghouls think I'm delicious, I prefer to stay out of their way, thank you very much." He takes another bite of his hamburger as he speaks.

I haven't really thought about this. I mean, I always assumed that because I'm a ghoul…nobody would try to eat anyone I was close to.

I thought I could protect him for as long as I lived.

A sudden rush of worry and concern overwhelm me. I feel like I might pass out.

"And you too, Kaneki. Although you don't go out much so you should be fine." He says, waving his hand up and down.

Then, I say what first comes to my mind at the moment. "Come home with me."

"Ah?" He blinks a few times.

"I want you to go home with me." I say this time.

"You...gotta be more clear than that." He is still confused.

"Come live with me." I say as I grab his hand.

I see his face heat up a bit and he looks away. "Um, okay. But like, just to be sure we are in the same page, you mean...cohabitation?"

"Co-" But I stop mid sentence. Of course. How could I- I mean- Right. Uh, damn it. I forgot.

Suddenly, I hear him laugh.

"Hide?"

"Pfft, Kaneki. Ah, geez. You are so adorable." He leans and ruffles my hair. "You have to think things through before you say them, dummy."

"R-Right." I feel myself blush. Ah, how couldn't I- Never mind.

"Do you still mean it though?" He asks, still smiling. "Cuz I'm up for it if you are. We've known each other for years now, so it's not weird."

He's...right.

"Yeah." I nod. "I-I mean...if you want to…"

I see him smirk, and before I knew it he leans to kiss me.

"Of course I do. Though, I'll drive you crazy with the laundry."

I can't help but smile at him. "That's okay."

"Alriiiight, let's do this shit."

* * *

><p>I...don't really know how it got to this.<p>

"Kaneki."

It wasn't my intention.

"Hng, _Kaneki…_"

But it's not like I'm complaining.

We are both laying on my bed, him on top of me. He keeps kissing my neck, and touching my groin. My breath hitches, and I cling closer to him, pulling slightly on his hair.

"Touch me." He whispers. But really, I'm so nervous that I just can't think straight.

He senses that, and grabs my hand, trailing it down his body. Down, and down-

"_Ahhh. _Just like that…" He smiles at me through half lidded eyes.

I never I would seen him like this one day. But now I can't help but think that I want to be the only one who sees him like this from now on.

Just me and him.

"Hey, Kaneki…"

"Hm?"

"Can we…" I don't understand what he's trying to say, until he opens my legs and touches me there.

I let out a moan and he grunts in response, touching me again and again.

I want him, I really do.

"Hide…"

But I'm still not ready.

"This...this is as far as...as far as I'll go." I breathe out.

He looks at me with that tender look of his, and kisses my forehead. "Alright, love."

I bring his face closer to mine and I kiss him. Slowly. Nobody has ever touched me before like this, and I'm so glad it's him. It feels..._so good_. And right. It feels kinda rushed too...but that's okay with me.

As long as I can have him like this, I don't care.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Thank you so much for reading! And for all the reviews Hence I'm going to upload as frequent as I can.

Have a great day :3


	4. Chapter 4

There's a new client who now comes to the coffee shop everyday.

Touka knows him - Apparently everyone here knows him.

His name is Tsukiyama Shuu, and he seems to have grown a liking of me.

"So what is your major, Kaneki-kun?" He asks with a sweet, welcoming voice. It makes me nervous somehow.

"Japanese Literature." I answer, as I sip down my coffee. We are sitting on a table, somewhere around the campus. "Um, Tsukiyama-san...before anything, what brings you here to the university?"

"What if…" He smiles at me. "...I said I came here to see you?"

"Huh?" I blink a few times. What? "W-Well, um, I don't know…"

He chuckles and brings out a book from his lap. "I saw you reading this book the other day," He points to to it. "Sen Takatsuki? That's a really good choice."

I feel myself light up at the mention of my favorite author. "Yeah, she is amazing. You like her too?"

"Of course!" He expands his arms in the air to make more emphasis. "I have read all of her works."

"Wow." I smile at him. "I haven't read 'The Hanged Man's McGuffin' yet."

"Oh, I can borrow it to you, if you'd like."

"Really? That'd be great!" I feel myself get excited over this trivial thing. But it seems Tsukiyama is also happy.

"There's going to be a movie about it soon...maybe we could watch it together?" He asks, resting his head on his hand.

"Definitely." I answer. "You'll have to pay for it, though."

He laughs. "Alright then. Anything for you."

* * *

><p>"Kanekiiiiii," Hide yells my name from my living room. "Hurry uuuuuup."<p>

"In a _second_." I yell back. I lost a bet, so I have to be the one preparing dinner. Though, now that I don't have a...good sense of taste for human food, it'll turn out terrible. I almost feel bad for Hide.

"I don't hear fryiiiiiing." He yells again.

"Oh, you wiiiiiilll." I yell back.

After battling with the food, I was able to make a more or less decent dinner.

"There." I put the plate full of food on the table. "Happy?"

"Very." He smiles at me as he takes a bite. "Hm, not bad. To be honest with you, I thought you were going to burn the place down."

"That bad?"

"Yep. You are not going to make a good wife."

"Haha. Eat your goddamn food already."

He takes a forkful and chews it dramatically.

"Gross." I laugh at his stupid face.

"Mmnn!" He hums loudly, trying to get my attention, swallowing the food quickly.

I keep laughing. "What? What is it?"

After a couple of swallowing more, he is able to talk. "Our anniversary!"

I roll my eyes. "It's been, what, two months?"

"Enough to celebrate."

"You only want cake."

"And you."

"Me and cake. What. You want me on top of a cake?"

"That's…" He is in awe. "That's an _excellent_ idea, actually."

"I was kidding."

"And I was serious."

I roll my eyes and laugh with him. Our relationship hasn't really changed.

Except for, you know, other stuff.

Suddenly, I hear someone knock the door.

"Were you expecting someone?" Hide asks, turning to me as I stand up.

"Not that I remember…" I walk towards the door in a rush, since the person keeps knocking.

"Tsukiyama-san?" It surprised me to see him standing outside my door.

"Kaneki-kun," He smiles at me. "Sorry to come without notice, but, you left the book on the table." He says as he shows it to me.

"Ah, thank you." I smile at him as I take the book. "You didn't have to…"

"_Non_, Kaneki-kun. I wanted you to read the book as soon as possible."

I chuckle at that. "Yes, yes. I'm going to read it tonight."

"Do you think you can finish it by tomorrow?"

"If I put an all nighter." I smile at him. "Why?"

"Reading competition. I can finish a book in a hour, but it seems you need more time. I am disappointed." He lowers his head and touches his heart to add dramatic effect. Geez.

"Well_, then_." I can't help but laugh a bit. "I guess I'm not what you were expecting."

"Not at all." He agrees. "You are much more."

And, just then, I was lost in his eyes.

We stayed like that for a while, until I turned away, trying to cover it up with a smile. "You say weird things."

He shrugs. "I say what I feel."

I cross my arms across my chest. "You barely know me."

"I want to know you, though." He smiles. "If you let me."

I can't help but smile back. "Fair enough. I'll let you."

His smile grows and he looks at me this tender way it almost makes my face heat up. "_Merci_, Kaneki-kun. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Enjoy the book!" He waves goodbye and turns around, going back to his place.

Touka says he is weird...but I don't really see it. He's very charming, actually.

I turn around and find Hide playing with his hands on the table. I roll my eyes as I walk towards him.

"You should of kept eating, you know." I tell him.

"Nah, I wanted to wait for you." He smiles. "Who was that?"

"Ah, that was Tsukiyama. He's a friend. I met him in the coffee shop." I say as I sit down. "He's a nice guy."

"Hm. He better not steal you from me."

"What." I put down my coffee.

"You heard me right. Ain't nobody gonna take you away." He says as he leans and kisses my forehead.

"You are crazy, Hide." I sit closer to him just so I could ruffle his hair in response.

"Crazy for youuuuu~" He sings as he wraps his arms around me.

I laugh as he plants kisses all over my face. "Hide, stop!"

"Nope~" He keeps kissing and nuzzling my hair, and I let him.

I don't see myself with anyone else but him, he has nothing to worry about.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I did it. I finally did it.

I SAW SOMEONE FROM MY COUNTRY IN THE GRAPH THINGY READING THIS CRAPPY FANFICTION. I AM BLESSED.

Thank you so much for reading this! Please don't forget to review, something as "nice fic lol" would make my day. Seriously.

Have a nice day


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm excited," Tsukiyama smiled at me while I kept eating popcorn. We were in the movie theater, to watch the movie about the book we talked about a while ago.

"Me too." I answer.

"I hope they don't ruin it. Usually some movies are great adaptations of the book but...you never know."

"I guess," I nod, listening to him. "I really don't mind though. As long as it's one of Takatsuki's books I don't care much."

"Ah, I see." He nodded. "You have very poor judgement. Interesting."

"_Oi._" I jokingly poke him on his arm and he laughs with me. He was right, but it still hurt a bit, you know?

"Tell me more about you," He suddenly says, turning his whole body so he's facing me.

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything. Tell me whatever you'd like. I'll listen." He smiles at me _that_ way again and it makes my heart skip a beat somehow.

"R-Right. Um," I try to think of interesting things to say about myself. "Well, for one, I'm pretty boring."

"_Menteur_. I don't believe you." He pouts.

"I am, though." I shrug. "I don't have interesting hobbies. I just like to read, write, draw, listen to music, play video games, watch movies...pretty normal stuff."

"It's interesting to me."

"How?"

"Because it's you."

It's such a simple answer.

"Wha…?"

So why does it affect me so much?

"What….what do you mean?"

He smiles at me gently. And that's all it takes.

The lights start to shut off, the people get quieter, the movie starts rolling, and there's only me and him in the dark.

"I like you, Kaneki-kun."

* * *

><p>Well, this is awkward.<p>

He is walking me home, even though I said he didn't have to. He is still here with me.

But now...I can't shake my mind off what he said. Was that a confession? What else could it be? How do I tell him about Hide?

"Kaneki-kun," He begins, interrupting my thoughts.

"Yes?"

He turns his head to me, with a serious look on his face. "I like you."

I feel my face blush at that, so I turn my head the other way. "You told me already…"

"Well, what do you think?"

I stop walking. "Huh?"

He stops walking too. "I mean just that. Oh, and by the way, I already know about your boyfriend. I just couldn't keep my feelings inside. I don't expect you to return the same feelings." He says, matter-of-factly.

"How do you-" Touka. Touka told him, probably. "Um…" I really don't know what to say next.

"Kaneki-kun, if you let me," He walked closer to me. "I can stay by your side, still. I want to be your friend."

"B-But…" I can't help but feel guilty somehow. "Isn't...going to be hard for you? Or something..."

He lets out a light chuckle. "Yes, a bit. But it's better than not being able to be next to you."

I lift my gaze and stare at his eyes. Does he really mean what he's saying?

Does he have any idea what he's doing to me?

I'm in love with Hide- but having Tsukiyama close. That's not- it doesn't feel right. Don't get me wrong, I don't see him as nothing more but a friend, but love is still a confusing topic for me.

I don't want to confuse liking the attention he's giving me with love. They are different.

"Kaneki-kun?" He taps on my shoulder. "It seems I lost you for a moment there."

"S-Sorry." I look down.

"There's nothing to be sorry about." He smiles at me. "I guarantee you that I won't try anything. But you can be sure that I'll always be there for you."

Those...are actually very comforting words.

I can't help but smile back. "Thank you."

"My pleasure."

* * *

><p>One eyed ghoul.<p>

One eyed ghoul.

One eyed ghoul.

One eyed ghoul.

One eyed ghoul.

He's there, somewhere. I know. I can feel it. He's there. In that coffee shop. I know he is there. He can't hide from me. No, he can't. Of course he can't. Nobody can't.

_Crack._

I'm going to find him.

_Crack._

And I'm going to take everything away from him.

_Crack._

Why?

_Crack._

Stupid question.

_Crack._

He is the one eyed ghoul.

_Crack._

So, naturally, I want to eat him.

_Crack._

I want to devour him.

_Crack._

I want to break him.

_Crack._

I will.

And. Nobody. Can't. Stop me.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** omg I put "have a nice day" only in the previous chapter. I meant to put that with lots of hearts following but it didn't appear /sobs

thank you so much for reading this! so sorry for ending it in that weird way, I'll try not to for future chapters ;A;

Who could it be?

Aogiri?

Shuu?

Tatara?

Ayato?

Barney?

So many questions and no answers.

Anyways, stay tune! I try to update everyday. :) As always, don't forget to review!


	6. Chapter 6

"Alright, Kaneki! Be careful!" Hide waved goodbye to me as I stepped outside. I was about to go to work in the coffee shop.

"I will, I will." I waved goodbye to him as well.

"Oh, wait!" He then rushed after me, making me stop walking.

"Something wro-" But I couldn't continue talking because he pressed his lips against mine, muffling what I was about to say.

"Sorry. You didn't gave me my goodbye kiss." He explained after kissing me _quite_ passionately.

"R-Right." I adverted my gaze somewhere else, the temperature around my cheeks going up.

"You are good to go now." He winked at me, leaning to leave a light kiss on my lips again.

"O-Okay." I smiled at him and walked off, this feeling of happiness building up at the bottom of my stomach.

Even though it's been almost a month, I still have this _feeling_ in my stomach every time he kisses me.

I've come to like it.

* * *

><p>"Ew. Why did you ate the popcorn?" Touka looked at me, disgust showing in her face.<p>

"Actually, they weren't as bad as I thought. Probably the least disgusting human food I ate…" I explained to her, scratching my chin thoughtfully.

"You are so weird." She smiled at me, shaking her head.

I smiled back and started cleaning some of the tables when I hear Touka sigh.

"Something wrong?" I ask, feeling my worry growing.

"Nah, just bored." She sighed again, leaning against the counter. "Not that many clients today."

I nodded, and as in cue the bell ringed, meaning someone entered the shop.

"Ah, w-welcome!" I smile at the customer who is inside, but something about him...seems off.

"What the…" I hear Touka whisper behind me. "What are you doing here?"

I turn around to look at her askew. Why act like that? Who is that?

"Surprise, surprise." He says in a deep voice, with a smirk on his face.

"What do you want?" She asks, in a deep tone. For some reason, I feel scared.

"Oh, I just came here to borrow something." He lifted his hands to show us his palms, like a criminal. "Ah, it smells rather delicious." He inhaled profoundly and sighed with content. "Just like Rize."

Rize? How does he know about my old babysitter?

Just what's going on?

"Go away. Whatever it is that you want, you can't have it. So fuck off." Touka brushed him away with his hand, making 'shoo' sounds.

He wasn't affected by it.

"Sorry, but no." His grin had something terrifying to it, and the same time, he cracked one of his fingers with his thumb. "I came here for it, so I'm taking it." He said, as he walked towards me, and leaned….smelling me.

Instecvely, I back away, but he grabs my wrist and pulls me closer. I can see from the corner of my eye that Touka wants to interfere. But the man is glaring at her, enough not to come any closer. "You smell rather good, boy." He smiles at me. "Just like your mom."

"W-What are you talking about…?" I ask, feeling myself shudder. I just want to get away from him.

I'm scared.

"Hm? You don't know?" He laughs loud, pushing away a tear from laughing so hard. "She never told you? Huh. Mother of the year, she is…"

"S-Sir...please, can you-"

"Hush. I'm talking." He glared at me, and all at once, I shut up. "Ghoul dad, human mom, right?" Wait, what? How does he know that? "Yeah, well, not true. Er, half-true. it's actually the other way around. Ghoul mom, human dad."

"Y-You mean-"

"Yes, boy, I mean that the people who raised you - your so called parents - are not your biological parents." He made a sound with his tongue. As if what he was about to say tasted like human food. "Your biological mother is Rize Kamishiro. Your dad? Who cares about that bastard."

Hold on.

Rize? My mom? That's...not possible, right?

I mean, it can't be. She was nice and all…but...just what proof does he have?

He took a sniff of me once more. "You smell just like her."

"S-Sir...please let go." His grip on my wrist was starting to hurt way too much.

Instead, he pulls me closer, feeling his breath against my face.

"You are mine now, Kaneki Ken."

"Let go of him, you fucking piece of shit." Touka jumped at him, but he easily punched her against the wall.

"Touka-chan!" I struggle to let go of him, but he is too strong.

"You…" Her voice is raspy, angry. "Just….fuck….OFF!" Her eyes turned red again, and her single wing made its appearance. Immediately, she started sending him parts of her kagune in the form of daggers. But he easily dodged all of them.

"I have no time to play with you today. So this will have to end quick." He started cracking his fingers again. "Bye bye."

And, with one punch, and kick in the stomach, Touka passes out.

I can only gasp and whimper, not knowing what to do. I've never being in fights. I- I _don't_ fight. At all. It's not me.

Not even against him. I just- I can't.

"Well, then," He smiles at me again, that wicked way. "Time to go, shall we?"

I gulp in response. I want to scream, but I'm paralyzed.

I'm paralyzed.

"Hmmm...but first, let's have some fun."

And with that, he smashed my head against the counter.

Again, and again, and again, and again.

"So much fun, isn't it!" He is laughing like a maniac. "So fun, so fun!"

My vision was filled with black dots at first, and then pure white. After the third impact, I couldn't feel anything else.

As he kept breaking my head with each blow, I started thinking about Hide. We were going to watch a movie today...it was this one about...these kids, they had cancer. Someway, along the line, they fall in love. I don't know why Hide chose that...I don't like it when movies romanticize those type of things, but I trust him. So I agreed to watching it. And Tsukiyama...I had to meet him after I was done in the shop. We were going to a bookstore…

I guess they'll have to wait.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Someone said that I wrote Kaneki eating popcorn in the last chapter...what was I thinking then, the world will never know. My bad. Now it's out there, for the whole world to see! /sobs

But anyways, we're getting more into the story. Maybe like...3 or 4 (maybe) chapters more...and we'll get to the _other_ stuff. if you get mah drift. I have more or less the story planned out...so I know how this is going to end. Hopefully you guys will like it ;A;

The next chapter will be uploaded in a few minutes :3 It's short, though, but I think it's enough? Welp, you'll see. :) Thank you so much for reading! And as always, reviews would be great!

Have a great day!


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Guys, please, be careful with this chapter. Some parts might make you uncomfortable. Rape is implied. Nothing graphic. **Nevertheless, p**lease proceed carefully. **

* * *

><p>I woke up in a dirty, dark room, full of strangers.<p>

They all looked at me with disgust. Specially this guy - he seemed to be about fifteen years old, though. But to look that scary…

"So what is that guy doing here again?" The boy asked, he sounded tired.

"Dunno. Maybe a new meal?" Someone said from the darkness.

"He's so skinny though. Why him?"

"Hell should I know. Jason is fucking crazy."

Jason.

The name of my attacker.

"Talking about the fucking devil." The boy sighed as he moved the other way, making space for Jason to come in.

"Ah, so he woke up. Great. Just great." He started doing that again - with his fingers. Cracking one, by one, by one. "What shall I do to him first, I wonder…"

"Pssh, I dunno. Perhaps, you know, fucking eat him?" The same boy sounded now pissed off.

"He's more than just a meal, dear Ayato." Jason clicked his tongue. "He's the one eyed-ghoul I was telling you about."

"What?" He widened his eyes in shock. "Him? The fuck?"

Ignoring him, Jason walked closer to me. I was chained down to the floor, my head staring at the ground.

He kneeled down, and lifted my chin.

"Hm...he does have a pretty face…" He said, examining my face.

"Oh, geez. Don't be gross." Ayato made a face and a puking sound.

"Nah, Ayato...he is right. The boy _does_ have a pretty face…"

"That's Rize's son for you." Someone else agreed.

Please don't let it become what I'm thinking.

"And he's pretty slender too. Just like a girl."

Please don't let it become what I'm thinking.

"And he smells way too good as well."

Please.

"Huh." Jason showed me his widest smile. "I think I know what to do with him now."

I remember that time, in literature class. We were writing a poem, about our life. At the moment, I was feeling incredibly depressed. It was the day my mom died years ago- not...not Rize. I was, at the time, feeling insignificant. I didn't really wanted to die...but if I were to die for whatever reason...I wouldn't have mind.

My poem was long, so I didn't shared it with the class. I didn't want to.

The last lines were: "If, for argument's sake,"

As my clothes were ripped off…

"You were to write a story with me in the lead role."

...And multiple hands started touching every single part of my body...

"It would certainly be a…"

...That feeling came back.

Please, help me.

I want to die.

"Tragedy."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Hi! Hopefully it wasn't that bad? ;A; Oh man, it feels weird...writing about this, you know? Kaneki already went through enough...ah...

I hope you guys are okay!

Tomorrow I'll update for sure!

You guys have a great day! :3


	8. Chapter 8

I didn't know what was going on until it was done.

And then it happened one more time. Then a third time. Fourth. Fifth…

I've lost count by now.

But, not everything was dark. There were other people here, who work for Jason, that treat me really nicely. Their names are Banjou, Ichimi, Jiro and Sante. They are afraid too, but they do what they can to help me.

I'm in their debt.

"What are you here for?" I hear my guard ask someone. I used to pray it wasn't Jason, or some of his workers- but now I don't have the energy to care.

"To have some fun, of course." It's Banjou. "So? Move."

"Whatever. Don't wanna hear gross sounds so he's all yours." The guard gives him the keys, and suddenly light comes in the room.

"Kaneki-kun…" He speaks to me in that soft voice, just like he always does.

I don't look at him.

He closes the door behind him, and I hear him step closer. He kneels down, right where I'm sitting, and wraps his arms around me.

I don't hug him back - I'm too tired, too tired.

He lifts my head, with his hands at each side of my face. "How are you, son?" I can sense the overwhelming concern coming from him. It makes me feel guilty that I can't answer. So, I just shake my head.

I'm sorry, Banjou, but the answer is the same like other days.

He brushes my white bangs off my face, and caresses my face. "It's okay, son. It's okay."

Except it isn't.

He then gives me space, takes off my chains, and sits on the other corner of the room while I start training.

This is our routine.

You see, I have to get stronger. If I want to see Hide, I have to get stronger. If I want to see my friends, I have to get stronger. I have to.

For them, and for them only.

* * *

><p>Light comes into my room, but I don't have to look to see who it is. I already know.<p>

He laughs when he sees me, and already starts taking off his pants.

I lift my gaze and I stare at his eyes.

"Hm?" He raises an eyebrow. "What's up with that look? Are you provoking me, kid?" He laughs again.

But it soon dies out, as I open my legs for him.

He looks at me up and down. "Well...this is different. Have you come to like it, you dirty slut?" I smile at him as he walks closer to me.

"Huh. Since you are finally in the mood, why don't you come here instead?" He takes off my chains with the key, sits down and I straddle him, with my arms around his neck.

My smile is still on.

"So? What are you waiting for? Go on." He smirks and then closes his eyes, waiting for me to do whatever he is thinking.

Wrong move.

I get off his lap, and kneel down, taking his member out. He just smiles.

Wrong move.

"Hmm...Yeah, like that. Use your mouth…"

Wrong move.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

"I feel you drooling. What are you drooling for? Huh. Is it that good? Fucking whore."

I just let out a laugh.

"Shut up, and do it right."

Wrong.

You see, here's what's so beautiful about this situation: the look on his face as my kagune rips it off.

"Sorry to break it to you, but that wasn't my mouth, dear." I say lightly, finding his muffled screams thanks to my kagune gagging him, amusing.

Fun, isn't it.

"Hmmmm? Can't talk?" I give him a sweet smile. "Well isn't that too bad for you?"

He lets out his kagune, and tries to attack me. But I dodge it all with ease.

He may be fast, but I'm faster.

I strike for his stomach, and I rip it open.

Ah, he was right, after all. This _is_ fun.

"You…" He growls under his breath. "You won't get away with this…"

"Oh yeah?" I tilt my head. "How scary."

_Crack_.

"And there goes a rib. Or two." I say in delight, as I keep breaking his bones. "How about the femur now? Next your skull…" I keep breaking his bones, one by one. Hearing his screams and dodging all of his attacks...somehow it makes me more excited.

And then, the lowlife says something I wasn't expecting.

"Please stop."

I stay put. I stop moving, and look at him directly in the eye.

"You are pleading me to stop?" I bring him down, so he's on his knees. Or rather, what's left of it. "You? Pleading _me_? Well isn't that so fucking hilarious." I chuckle. "Don't make me laugh." I grab him by the neck, and lift him up. "Tell me, what was going through your mind when I was asking you to stop? Do you even remember? Me, screaming for help. And you, laughing at it all. No, really, tell me, what were you thinking when I was desperately asking you to stop?" My voice grew louder by the minute. "Huh? Come on, tell me. Was it fun? To see me struggle?"

Jason didn't move.

"ANSWER ME." I yelled. "DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING CLUE WHAT YOU DID TO ME?"

No answer.

I dropped him on the ground. "No, of course not. How would you know?" I spit at him. "Scum like you? What would you know."

I knelt down, and smiled. "Bye bye, Jason."

The look of horror in his face was priceless.

"_Bon appetit." _

Hm, they were right. Revenge does taste sweet.

* * *

><p>"Kaneki?" I hear Banjou call for me, as I drop another dead body to the ground.<p>

"Oh. Hi."

"What..? How are you out? What happened?" He asks, confused, gulping at the sight of the body in front of him.

"Oh, that? I ate Jason." I said it like it was a natural thing to say, as I cracked my fingers. "And then proceed to kill anyone who had anything to do with him." I turned my head to him, and smiled. "Except you guys and Ayato. He didn't try anything funny with me after all."

"They are...all dead?" He seemed to be in disbelief. Is it that surprising?

"Yes, they are all dead." I answered him as I walked on top of the body like a carpet, towards the exit. "So are you and your crew coming or what?"

"R-Right." He straighten up, and started calling for his friends. He seemed to want to ask me more things, but stayed quiet.

"So where are we going?" One of them asked instead, as night fell before us.

Such a simple question, really.

"Home."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Thank you so much for the reviews! Makes my heart happy :3

It's early where I am, so I'll write the next chapter in a couple of minutes, and upload it today. At the very least, it'll be up tomorrow around this hour.

So yeah! Just, thank you all! I'm glad you are liking it so far :)

Have a great day!


	9. Chapter 9

The way home was long and quiet. And, even though my friends were with me, I felt alone.

So, _so_ alone.

I just want to go far away from everything.

But, I have to keep going. I want to see Hide. I want to see Tsukiyama. I want to see Touka. Which reminds me, just how long have I been kidnapped? Days? Months? Years?

I wonder...have they forgotten about me already?

Maybe...I shouldn't go back, after all?

"Kaneki?" Banjou called my name behind me, with uncertainty. "You stopped. Is this your house?"

I stopped? I didn't notice. I just let my feet take me.

I look up, and see the familiar building. "...Yeah."

"Do you want us to go with you?" He asked, nervous.

Was he scared?

Hah. Maybe I look a bit scary. White, messy hair. Black nails. Old, ripped clothes.

If I saw my old self right now, I wonder if he would recognize me?

"No, I can go on my own."

Maybe, he would be scared too.

"Alright, Kaneki." He places a hand on my shoulder. "Be careful, okay?"

"I will." I give him a weak smile. I tried. "Thank you, for everything."

He smiles back at me. "We'll be around the park if you need us."

"You guys will be okay?"

"Of course!" One of them answers. "Don't doubt us."

"Yeah! We know some people around here. We'll be okay."

"Don't worry about us, Kaneki-san!"

I can't help but smile again. "Thank you. Then, I'll see you all later."

"Take care, son."

We waved goodbye, and went in different directions.

I walked towards the white door in front of me. It was getting bigger and bigger as I got closer. The smell of the flowers fulfills my nose, and I can feel the breeze gently against my skin. The sky was the same, the sun was almost out, the moon was shining, and you could see birds flying.

It all seems so normal. Everything is the same.

It moved on...without me.

I knocked on the door. Once. Twice.

Inhale. Exhale.

Someone from inside started walking towards the door.

"Who is it?" He asked, as he opened the door. His cheerful smile was not there, his eyes weren't shining as I remembered them, his clothes weren't bright colors anymore and his hair was longer now.

"Who…" He opened his mouth and closed it again. "Ka...ne...ki?"

I let out a sigh I didn't know I was containing. He remembers me, and that makes me so unbelievably happy.

Hide, he remembers me.

"Is it really you?" He is staring at me in disbelief. "Oh my god, it is really you." He brought his hands at each side of my face, leaning closer. "Kaneki...this whole time, you were gone. I thought the worst. I...I can't believe it's really you." He leaned even closer, his lips brushing against mine. "I...I _missed_ you."

And that's all it takes.

I kiss him, pushing him inside, and he kissed me back just as hard. With a kick, the door is closed behind us. I wrap my arms around him, and his around me.

His heat, getting through my body. He's right here - right with me.

"Hnn…" He moans against my mouth, my tongue inside of his.

I moan, and he does too. Again and again, his hands sliding down my body.

Soon enough, we are in a bedroom. My old bedroom.

I push him a bit more, so we both fall on the bed. I begin to trail down his jawline, his neck, his collarbone...taking in all the breathy gasps he is letting out, leaving marks on all the exposed skin.

"Ka...Kaneki…" His voice is soft, and raspy.

I stop what I'm doing, and go up a bit, so my gaze is connected with his.

He stares at me for a moment, his mouth slightly open, as if he still couldn't believe I was there.

Slowly, he wraps his arms around my neck, and brings me closer. "Kaneki…!"

My chest...it hurts.

"Ka...Kaneki…" His eyebrows furrow together, his eyes fill with water, and his lips start trembling. "I…I…"

I'm right here.

"It's okay, Hide."

I'm sorry I caused you so much grief.

"I won't go anywhere."

He sobs, closing his eyes, pulling me in. His face is buried against the crook of my neck, and I can feel Hide shake, weeping. He's just...crying _so_ hard. And I want that to stop. It hurts. It hurts, seeing him like this.

Please don't cry. I'm right here.

Right here with you.

I won't let go.

His cries fulfill the room, and I can't do anything but hug him, leaving tiny kisses around his face. And, soon enough, he calms down.

His breathing is unstable, sometimes gasping for air.

"Kaneki…" He intertwines my hand with his as he speaks. "I...I need…"

"I'll do anything." I whisper. "Anything."

"I…" His eyes fill with tears again. "I want you...inside. Right now."

"Hide?" I search for some doubt in his eyes, but he doesn't show it.

"Please." His voice is almost a whisper. "Please."

I look at him, and….my love for him, it's just- it's overwhelming. I feel as if my chest might burst.

"Okay." I whisper back. "Okay, love."

We kiss again, and my head is full of thoughts of him.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **I am so sorry to end it here! (im actually not sorry at all) I'm still unsure how next chapter will be. If it'll be vague or detailed...at least in this scene.

I guess I'll just go by the reviews.

Anyways, thank you again!

Have a great day n.n/


	10. Chapter 10

I'm laying on my bed - _our_ bed, naked, with him next to me sleeping peacefully.

I'm jealous of him. I wish I could sleep.

I don't remember much what happened last night - I blocked it out, somehow. And surprisingly, I'm glad I did.

"_Please stop!"_

Oh?

"_Please...please...no more…"_

Hm, I guess it was because of _that_, that I can't remember.

I just...I just went along with it. I hope that was enough.

_I was then pulled up, on his lap, forced to move on my own. Sounds of the skin slapping against each other, all the moans, the groans, the - the _everything, _all repeating itself inside my head. Over, and over again._

This is really annoying. These memories need to stop.

"Mnn, Kaneki…?" Hide calls my name, still sleepy. "What's wrong? Why are you pulling your hair?"

I am?

"Kaneki- hey, wait, why are you- _Kaneki_, stop that."

What am I doing, exactly?

"Kaneki, breathe. Yeah, like that. Breathe with me. Just like that."

Doesn't feel like breathing though.

"Love- love, hey, look at me. What's wrong?" His hands are cupping my face. "Look at me, Kaneki. Please tell me what's wrong."

No, he is right. I'm not breathing well.

"Kaneki, you are scaring me. Please tell me what's wrong."

I still feel it, Hide.

"Kaneki. Kaneki!"

I still feel their hands, on my body.

I feel them.

I feel my fingers being cut off.

I can hear the centipede in my ear.

It's so vivid, you know?

"Hello? Um, I need help. My boyfriend- he's- he seems to be having an asthma attack but he's also...yelling me to stop? But he's not yelling at me, exactly."

It feels like ants, all over my skin.

"He's yelling at someone...named Jason?"

I want to kill them. I want them to stop walking on me.

"But there's no one else here but us. He's- He's crying so hard, I'm scared. I don't know what's going on."

Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill.

"Kaneki! Oh my god. Please come here fast. Kaneki!"

My skin- I can feel it. I can still feel it.

I want to rip my skin off.

"Kaneki!"

Please, just make it stop.

I...I can't take this anymore.

Take my arm, take my leg, rip my fingers off again and again if you need it.

Take my heart.

Just- please, make it stop.

Please make it stop.

* * *

><p>It feels oddly familiar, this place.<p>

It's all white- like snow. I like snow. It's cold and pretty - like Touka. She's cold and cute. I wonder how she's doing now? Last time I saw her, she wasn't doing great in her exams. Hopefully she passed. If not, I can tutor her. Once I get out of here, of course.

Once I get out out of this white, lonely place.

It's so bright everywhere, it's almost blinding me.

"Um, sir?"

I turn my head to the source of the sound.

That voice - I know who it is.

"Sir, um, w-were you calling me just now? It felt as if you were…"

"I guess I was calling you, and I didn't notice."

"O-Oh? Well, then…" His voice is soft and shy. Just like I remember. "A-Are you new here? Who are you supposed to be?"

I kneel down, so I'm at his height. "I'm here to protect you."

"P-Protect me?" His big, round eyes blink a couple of times, and he starts playing with his hands. "Mom is already protecting me, though! She's so kind - always there for me."

"Is she?"

"Yeah! How about yours? Does your mom protect you too?"

"I…" A sad, small smile spreads across my face. "Yeah. Actually, she liked to protect people. A lot. Specially...herself."

"You can protect yourself?" His voice is so innocent. "How?"

"You can. For example, if you are afraid of being alone...then, you...make sure nobody leaves you. That way, you are not alone."

"Thus protecting oneself."

I chuckled lightly at the formality. "Yes, like that."

"I get it now." He smiled. "The maybe mom is also protecting herself too. I'm glad."

"You are?"

"Yeah! You have to be strong to be able to do that, right? If you are weak-"

"You get taken advantage on. Stepped on."

"Y-Yes. People can be very cruel sometimes." He nods.

"Hm," I place a hand on his hair, ruffling it. "You have no clue how cruel they can be, do you?"

"B-But!" His cheeks are now a rosy pink. "There's good people too! Like Hide! My best friend." He says, proudly.

"Oh? Tell me about him."

"W-Well, for starters...he is always listening. And always knows when something is wrong. He helps me with social situations and always makes sure I'm okay. He's always with me." He looks down a bit, embarrassed. "A-And...he's...way too clingy too…"

I can't help but laugh a bit. "Do you like him?"

"Of course I do!" He exclaims, looking up.

"Oh? Then when are you two getting married?"

"M-M-M….M-Ma-Ma...Married….?" He is a living tomato by now. "I-I can marry him? But…"

"What?"

"Aren't we too young for that?"

Oh.

"H-Hey! Why are you laughing?"

"Pfft, geez. That's the only problem you see?"

"W-Well, yeah...are there more?"

"Nope, none." I give him a big smile. It feels so good to smile. I should do it more often.

"Then it's okay...what about you, then?"

"Me?" I tilt my head. "What about me?"

"Are you married?"

I laugh again. "No, I'm not. But I have someone in mind."

"You do?" His eyes are shining. "Who is it?"

"He...is my best friend." I begin. "He...is always listening. And, you see, he always knows when something is wrong. He helps me with social situations and always makes sure I'm okay." I feel tears form at the corner of my eyes. "He's always with me."

"He sounds just like my best friend! How funny!" He giggles.

"Yeah." I agree. "Yeah...we've been together for a very, very long time. I think he might even be...the love of my life."

"Wow." He is surprised, blushing a bit. "You have to marry him, then!"

"That's the plan." I try my hardest to smile.

He giggles again. "Will you have kids?"

My eyes open a bit at the sudden question.

"Pfft, you are blushing!"

"I am?" I smile. "But to answer your question, yes, I might."

"Great!" Suddenly, he seems like he's looking for something. "Ah, I'm so sorry, sir! But I have to go! Hide is waiting for me."

"Yes." I breathe out. "It's okay, go."

"A-Alright!" He bows. "It was nice meeting you, sir!"

"It was nice meeting you, too." I pat his head. "But, we'll meet again."

"We will?"

"Yeah." I nod. "I'll do my best to protect you."

He smiles his brightest. "Thank you so much!"

And off he goes.

As he runs away, the lights get dull. It gets darker, and darker, and darker. Until there's a single spot of light, just where I'm standing.

I guess it's time to go.

* * *

><p>"Oh. He's up."<p>

I hear the sound of breathing, and I realize it's my own.

I hear steps rushing towards me, and suddenly, my hand is warm. "Kaneki. Hey, can you hear me?"

"Nagachika-kun, careful." That voice. I know that voice. "I'm going to call the doctor. I'll be right back."

"Hide…?" I breathe out. I feel so tired.

"Yes." His smile. It's so pretty. It's almost as bright as the room I was in. "Yes, it is I. Hide, your beloved hero. Adore me for I am now invincible."

I stare at him at first, and then I laugh. Really hard.

"Hide…" I say his name, and it feels so sweet. "Can you lie with me?"

"Oh? Um," He chuckles bit. "So as soon as you see me, you want to do _that_. Damn. Kaneki, how dirty."

"Wha-" Then, I feel heat rising to my cheeks. Quickly, I cover my face with my hands. "Ugh, that was not what I meant…"

"Yes, yes. Stay in denial all you want. Now, excuse you, for I am going to lie on the bed with you."

I laugh and move to the side, so he's right next to me.

We're both laying on our sides, facing each other. He starts stroking my face, and I lean in the touch. I missed this.

"I'm right here." He whispers, ever so softly, looking into my eyes. "Right here with you, and I'm willing to sacrifice anything in order for you to be happy. I'll be here, just like old times."

I feel this sudden rush of emotion in me, and I feel like I might cry. "Thank you."

Silently, he leans and plants a little kiss on my lips. I blink a few times, and then lean to kiss him again. He stares at me for a second, and then leans to kiss me one more time, a little bit longer. I look at his lips, and then back at his eyes, placing my hand on his cheek, I move closer to press my lips against his again.

It's slow, and sweet. And it feels so good, feeling his mouth against mine, muffling his moans, feeling his heartbeat. It all feels so good.

For the first time in a while, I feel loved.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Remember when I said I had it planned it out? welp nope I decided to take another route instead.

Let's see where it takes me!

Thank you for the reviews~

Have a great day! :3


	11. Chapter 11

Right now, my life is made up of sleepless nights and an empty stomach.

I see him every night. Yamori. Jason. Those _monsters_. And I still can't believe they were capable of breaking me like this. They are people you see every day, you know? The people you say hi to when you encounter them in the street, worried if they are going to miss the train. Who would of thought someone could be so cruel? I sure didn't. But I wish I did.

Nights are quite unbearable. I don't wake up screaming, no, I just open my eyes and wish I was- and _wish_ I was somewhere else. I don't care where, just far enough away from here. Because you see, I'm drowning. Drowning in antidepressants and the smell of _flesh_, and it's so fucking painful but I don't want to let go because-

Because it's kind of addicting, this _emptiness_.

I'm not just a ghoul, I'm also a zombie. Craving flesh, brain dead, numb and I'm rotting. And it fucking _smells_ of death even though I don't feel it anymore. Maybe I gotten used to it, I don't know. But what I know it's that it's there because it drives people away but nobody stays long enough to help and you know what?

I don't blame them.

Because who would like to be looked at with expressionless eyes? Who would want to hug someone in the middle of the night who's staring at nothing like he was _lost_? Who would spend their gentle kisses on the back of someone who just threw up his food of the month? Who would _love_ someone who has lost sight of himself and even though it _hurts_ he doesn't really want to die, but if he were to die for unknown reasons he wouldn't _mind_?

Stupid, isn't it.

My life is made of meds and dying roses.

Tsukiyama brings them every week he visits and I wish I could give him more than a 'thank you' but I _can't_ and even though I see he tries his best to bring me the most beautiful flowers he finds saying they remind him of me I can't help but disagree. We don't have anything in common.

Except that now these fragile little roses are slowly fading into ashes, _dying_.

And now I can see that we are, in fact, similar.

My life is made up of boring books and meaningless kisses.

Even though my favorite author has released a new book I'm not able to finish it because- because _what's the point_? What's the point in getting attached to characters and their story when it's all a _lie_? Lies to make you forget about the rest of the world, _the ugly parts of the world_, but you mustn't. You have to remember, _sooner or later you'll break down too._

Hide tries to kiss away all the fears, and even though at the beginning they used to make my heart skip a beat now I just feel them for what they are. Skin against skin and nothing more.

My life is made up of discovered lies and empty 'I love you's.

Sooner or later I knew Hide would find out my secret. It was obvious by now - I would of being concern if he hadn't. I thought he would be disgusted, you know? But instead he didn't seem to mind.

As if I was still human.

As if I was deserving of his understanding and love.

As if I wasn't _so fucked up_.

Yesterday I told him I love him. He smiled and said it back but the difference between the two is that he means it and I don't. Or at least I'm sure I don't. Believe when I say this, I tried so hard to find something inside of me that could _love_ him like he deserves (and please believe me when I tell you he deserves the world), but all I could find was dust left behind of what it used to be there.

A beating heart, it's my guess.

My life is made up of a tiny, fragile string, that if it were to be cut I would be _gone_.

And, right now, I just can't seem to find the scissors.


End file.
